Competing or Complimenting


                                                                                                          Photo by the amazing @Charissaintandem

I wonder if we have bought into the lie that women are the weaker, less capable, more inferior sex.  I wonder if we have bought into the lie that we need to prove ourselves by overshadowing and silencing men.  I wonder if we have begun to believe that to compete, we need to beat.  Is there room for more equality? Absolutely.  Should there be fair treatment and pay across the board? 100%.  What if in our pursuit for more, we have squashed men in the process with our words, our actions, our marketing, or even our beliefs.  Two wrongs don’t make a right, we know that.  If we look at creation and the infrastructure of marriage, God designed male and female to create wholeness.  One sex complementing and strengthening the other.  

What about that Verse

I have really struggled over the years to find the balance in submission both as a single woman and now a married one.  Reading through the scripture, I realized that submission is required with the instruction of husbands to love.

23For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.  25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,30 because we are members of his body.  Eph. 5:23- 29

You can’t really have one without the other.  My husband began using the term teammates shortly after we got married.

God has placed man to be the head of the home, but it doesn’t mean that I passively submit or permit anything to happen.  Rather, we work had to work together.  We make time to seek the Lord independently and collectively.  We work hard to share dialogue.  We present the devil’s advocate and we work to hold each other accountable.  When honest feedback needs to be had, we try and share it in a life-giving way to help better the other.  

As a team, we win together and we lose together.  Chris is the best version of himself when He is running in the lane with the strengths that God has given him.  I am the best version of me when I own and run in my lane, pursuing who God has called me to be with my strengths.  Many times we miss our lanes, he gets in mine, or I in his.  Let’s be honest, there have been some days that the other person hasn’t even seemed to show up to the track to run that day :). Those times are frustrating, confusing, and unproductive.  As a pair of Enneagram three’s, unproductivity and delay are infuriating to us!  However, when we run together, in our own lanes, it is amazing to see how God propels what we are doing.  

Leading Differently

Maybe like me, you have encountered unfair, offensive, or belittling encounters with a male in the workforce or your community circle.  We can’t go back and change that.  We can’t change them, and honestly, remaining mad and bitter doesn’t change it for the better either.  Instead, I want to invite you to do something with me, lead as Jesus would.  We can lead through change with forgiveness, relentless righteous pursuit, with mercy, and confident joy.  Why?  Because God is faithful.  Because our God is personal, and His word is true, and justice belongs to Him.

Let’s not forsake our God-given worth as females for the world’s standard.  God’s way will always be much higher, better, and deliver a greater fulfillment than any tangible element the world ever could.   Are you competing or complimenting?

Cheering you on sister!  God has great things, and remember, you are a catalyst woman.  A woman who creates change.

Danielle Wingate

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